Feeling Like You’re the Only Effort Maker? How to Address Imbalanced Friendships
Oh, the Traffic Tango – A Little Lesson in Relationships!
A few months back, I was caught in the infamous bumper-to-bumper ballet, all dressed up and running late to dinner with my favorite gal pal, “Sarah.”
As I crawled along the highway (we’re talking 45 minutes of quality car karaoke), something painfully familiar started to sizzle to the surface.
Every. Single. Dinner. with Sarah played out like a not-so-fun rerun: I’d suggest a hangout, she’d pick a spot near her pad, and off I’d go, battling cross-town traffic like a love-struck knight on a quest.
After years of friendship, I couldn’t recall a single time she’d made the effort to shuffle over to my side of town—or even meet somewhere in the middle.
So, during dinner, I channeled my inner diva and laid it out straight:
“I adore our little chats, but it kinda feels like I’m holding up the whole friendship here. Mind organizing the next get-together somewhere that doesn’t require a GPS and a prayer?”
She smiled and sweetly promised, “Of course!”
Three months rolled by… Crickets.
Here’s the juicy takeaway:
- Sometimes, we don’t realize our relationships are teetering on the one-sided tightrope until we hit the brakes on doing all the heavy lifting.
- If you’re the magic glue keeping it all together, resentment is just waiting to crash the party.
- There’s a big difference between an occasional fluke and a chronic pattern. If someone is a professional taker who never learns to give back, they’ll keep on playing that game.
When Sarah finally texted, it wasn’t for a catch-up sesh—it was a “Hey, I need a favor!” kind of message.
That’s the moment I realized: Oh honey, this isn’t friendship—it’s a pattern of convenience. For her.
Now, I’ve got a sassy little rule for my life:
I match energy. If someone isn’t willing to meet me halfway—whether we’re talking location or emotional investment—I take note and adjust my vibe accordingly. No more playing the role of the unpaid therapist!
So, here’s a flirty question for you:
Are there any one-sided connections in your fabulous life? What do you think would happen if you took your foot off the gas pedal and let them figure it out?
P.S.: Check out my blog for the lowdown on why we tend to overgive! And if you’re curious about relationship patterns, dive into my book “Breakup Bootcamp.” Trust me, it’s a game-changer! Get it here.
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